To: You

You may seem perfect in my past

But there’s one thing I realized,

Life must go on

And I need to move forward

But you, you’ll never be here

In my present.

Because for me, you are my past..

And for what’s done between both of us, it’s over. 

We're over. 

POV

June 24th. 

Berawal dari photo profile whatsapp yg galau (biasalah quotes gitu), jadi berujung curhat ke temen baru. 

Gue bukan tipikal orang yg dengan mudahnya bisa cerita tentang kehidupan pribadi termasuk percintaan ke orang lain. Jangankan orang lain, ke temen yg udah lama kenal (ber-tahun2) kenal aja, gue blum tentu bisa se-terbuka itu. Call me that I have a trust issues. But that's what I am. 

Dan anehnya.. malam ini, untuk pertama kalinya. Gue bisa cerita dengan mudahnya tentang kehidupan percintaan gue ke cowok yg notabenenya dia adalah "orang baru" di hidup gue. 

Tumbuh dengan prinsip independent woman, buat gue selalu bepikiran "ah nanti ajalah cinta2an-nya, nanti juga bakalan ketemu sama si the one."

Karena buat gue (si cewek dengan pemikiran logika dulu baru perasaan), sedangkan kebanyakan cewek diluar sana selalu pake perasaan. Gue jdi punya anggapan "Aiisshh ribet deh kalau udah urusan hati. I love to keep it simple". Lo suka gue ya ngomong, maunya dijalanin kaya gimana.. Lo cuek, ya gue juga bisa lebih cuek (?)

Sampe akhirnya gue ceritain tentang perasaan yg cukup mengganggu gue akhir2 ini, ke dia (si temen baru). And thank god, he's a good listener. Open minded. Dewasa. Keren lah pokoknya. 

Dari situ gue jadi dapet sudut pandang yg lain, bahwa.. 

Gue bukan orang yg sebaik itu,

Dia bilang, gue cuek. Gak pekaan. Gak jelas. 

Dan gue juga dapet sudut pandang baru dari cerita malam ini: 

Pertama, Ragu gak akan pernah bisa bawa lo buat maju. 

Kedua, Kalau yg namanya sayang & cinta, itu gak pernah satu arah bentuknya. It's mutual feelings.

And last but not least, The one that truly love you, they'll never make you cry and will show you their best and worst. Because for them, "your happiness is their priorities".

Jadi.. buat mas crush, "Jangan dulu dateng ke gue kalau lo aja belum tau arahnya mau kemana."

Karena kalau sudah melibatkan perasaan. Semuanya gak sebercanda itu :)

17

Setiap yg bernyawa pasti memiliki batasannya.

Sama halnya sepertiku, aku juga memiliki sebuah batasan, 

Batasan untuk bertahan dan terus berjalan, atau melepaskan.

Melepaskan diri dari rasa sakit atas sebuah ekspektasi.

Hujan

Biar kan kali ini aku menikmati rintikan hujan yang turun kebumi.

Biar kan aku menangis bersama derasnya hujan.

Biarlah aku terlihat menyedihkan, layaknya sebuah kasih yang tak pernah tersampaikan.

Aku merindu, merindu bersama derasnya air yg menetes.

Aku merindu layaknya sebuah angin yang hanya berhembus dan tak akan pernah bisa kau peluk,

Aku merindukan kehadirannya, pelukan hangatnya yg tak akan pernah bisa aku rasakan lagi.

Aku merindu bersama dengan sejuta keresahan, aku menangis.. sebanyak rintikan air yg turun ke bumi. 

Aku merintih pendih, rintihan yang tak pernah bisa didengar oleh siapa pun.

Biarlah aku menjadi lemah dan meyedihkan malam ini.

Aku resah dan gundah, dan tak tahu nama siapa yg harus aku sebut. 

Aku gelisah, aku khawatir..

sampai aku sadar, bahwa saat ini, dibawah rintikan hujan yg turun, aku tak sendiri.
Aku bersama tuhan, yg selalu ada bersama ku, menyaksikan segala kesedihan, keresahan, dan ketakutan, yg tak pernah seorang pun tau.

Cerita kita belum usai

Aku belajar satu hal, dari sebuah cerita yg ku baca malam itu. 

Sederhana, hanya sebuah cerita fiksi tentang persahabatan. Namun entah mengapa, rasanya begitu menusuk hingga kedalam. Membuat ku sadar, bahwasanya segala masalah pasti akan selalu ada jalan keluarnya. 

Kita tidak perlu menghindar satu sama lain. 
Aku, kamu, kita... Hanya butuh duduk bersama, menyelesaikan sebuah cerita yg belum usai. Itu yg seharusnya kita lakukan. Bukan malah pergi & berpura-pura tak saling mengenal, hingga akhirnya saling melupakan.

Terkadang memang beberapa hal perlu untuk di gapapa-in. 
Namun, facing the truth and being gentle is the most important things.

for poel the old season:)

-utr

The One That Got Away

I had hard days recently, trying to deal with a bitter, harrowing loss. After having been through days feeling angry, disappointed, and confused, I finally come to just accept, that time does have the power after all. Time has given me the answers, so it will finally let me understand and forgive wholeheartedly. 

Anyway, while thinking about it, I recalled that I once have read a very interesting article reposted on Facebook  
all the reason I should learn to understand in order to let go.

Please sit back and relax for a while and read this. It might get you contemplating afterwards. 

And always remember what Miss Monroe once said: sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together. Sometimes "the one" gets away, so you finally can be with "the better one". So, yeah, why should I be worried? Prost! :)

The One That Got Away

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with…and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you’re with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flash-point of that fact

.........

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

(The original article "The One That Got Away" was written by Mark J. Macapagal for The Manila Times)

 

 Inspired by: O.P.S (Orissa Sofyan)

YOU

Joy.

Pain.

 Bliss.

Sorrow.

Sweet dreams.

Nightmares.

Bruises.

Cure.

Hero.

Villain.

Esteem.

Disgrace.

Rainbow.

Thunder.

Heaven.

Hell.

Angel.

Demon.

Past.

Present.

Future.

friend.

Bestfriend.

Love.

Life.

...

You.

I Love You

I remember when i'm fell in love